Time and Distance

Day 85 / 366

How do you get over something or someone?

There are lots of different approaches people take to this. What works and what not, I have no idea. But I think it's still worth talking about.

The most common approach is just hating the person. Forcing your brain to remember the bad stuff and ignore the good stuff. While this might give the quickest results, I am not a fan of this. Hatred is a really bad feeling to have. It makes you do cruel things. Hating someone or being angry at someone is like holding a piece of burning coal in your hand and wishing the other person to feel the pain. They will feel nothing and you will only end up hurting yourself.

The other approach is to replace the thing or the person you want to forget with something else. This could be a good way, but when you are in a vulnerable state, you might not be making the best decisions. You could end up out of the frying pan and into the fire. So I would suggest avoiding this one as well.

What’s left then? The toughest but most effective tool you have — Time and distance. Time and distance neutralize your feelings. Time can do wonders. The problems that you had 3 years ago, would feel like nothing to you right now. That means that whatever feelings you have right now that are bothering you will go away with time. And you can speed it up with distance.

When we used to get a wound when we were young, our parents used to tell us to not keep touching it. If you keep touching it, how will it ever heal? That is why you need distance.