Holding on to anger
I was having a chat with a friend today, who was frustrated with how a person was treating him. While I was trying to talk some sense into him, this comment by him caught my attention -
“.. what’s bothering me is the fact that someone can lie to my face and not feel any guilt about it.”
Thoughts like this should be an immediate red flag. It’s not good to be angry at something that is external to you, something that’s essentially out of your control. Getting angry at the behavior of another person is like drinking poison to kill someone else. You only end up hurting yourself.
I’ve had my fair share of issues with anger management, but I do believe that I have gotten a lot better. I still can’t stop myself from getting angry, but what I can do is try and find the source of the anger. If I am angry at myself then it’s OK. Maybe because I said yes to some work which I shouldn’t have, or because I overslept, or something like that. I use that anger to fuel to correct my mistakes.
But in case the source of the anger is something external, I try and let it go as soon as possible. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I just try and take my mind off it. Meditation is a great help in this, or sometimes just having a quick call with a friend can do the trick.
You need to have a sense of selfishness when it comes to anger. If the anger can help you get better, then cherish it. Otherwise, just let it go.