Being Overwhelmed

Day 45 / 365

I’ve had a pretty easy 4 months workwise since I left my full-time job. I was working when I wanted, where I wanted. There were weeks when I didn’t work at all. And it was fine.

But the reality is that I still have a lot to accomplish in life. I can’t retire, not yet anyways. I have a dream of creating my own company, and to support that and to support myself, I would just have to continue working to keep making some money.

I get overwhelmed when I am forced to do something that I don't want to do. For instance, I start a new project with a US client today, that requires me to attend a few calls post-midnight. I don't want to do it, and I feel like shit. But I know that I worked hard to get this project and that I really need to money to fund my own ventures. Hence, I have to power through, somehow.

This reminds me of my school days. I loved Maths and Science, I always wanted to be a scientist. But I loathed Social Studies. I have never been interested in any of it, and I never willingly studied it. But I knew that if I scored low in Social Studies, it would lower my overall percentage and that would have implications later on (at least that's what people led me to believe at the time). So I forced myself to study and score well in those subjects. I hated it, but it had to be done.

It’s 10 PM. I hate that I just can’t put on a podcast and go to sleep right now. I hate that I have to be up for another 4 hours and work on this project. But it has to be done, and so I will do it.