A security blanket

Day 160 / 366

A security blanket is something that a kid holds onto when they are scared. It makes them feel comforted. It makes them feel safe. And it’s not necessarily a blanket. For some, it's a soft toy, or a book, or a videogame. Or it could be something that someone gifted you.

I was not having a particularly great day today. I wasn’t feeling well either, probably all the exhaustion from a stressful week kicking in, now that it's Saturday. So I decided to lie down and listen to songs. But instead of listening to the usual songs, I went to Spotify and found my old playlist. One from the pre-covid days. The good old days. As the song played on shuffle, this next one came in, and nostalgia hit me like a brick

With my eyes closed, I felt like I could see the melody. And with it, I could relive all of the good memories I had from back then, when I used to listen to this song. Having a banana shake and dahi puri at the campus hub in college. Spending late nights alone in the comp lab in the Mechanical Department, reading a book, or studying for my exams. Going in the office bus to JP Morgan each morning, wishing for there to be more traffic, as I would rather spend time in traffic than at that office.

All of it was so real that I felt like I could physically grab the feeling and hold on to it. And in that moment, I felt safe, I felt comforted. I felt the good parts of life. That playlist was like a security blanket for me.

In meditation, they teach us how our mind is like a cloudy sky. Even though the clouds are all that you can see, there is a vast blue sky behind them, which you just forget about. We focus so much on the problems we have in our lives, that we forget about the good parts. But doesn’t mean it goes away. It’s always there, and if you try, you can make yourself see it.